Lentil Sloppy Joes with Radish Coleslaw Relish

Here's an example of a recipe that was ALMOST there, but not quite.  Flavor? Dead on. Texture? Wrong. Problem?  The type of lentils I used.  I should have used a more tender lentil, that fell apart during cooking, so I could turn my sloppy joe mixture into a more congealed mush.  I didn't like the bite of the French lentils, and I wanted the hot lentil mixture to contrast with the crisp, cold relish I made.  Instead, the textures were too similar and the lentils heated the relish. Boo.

Fix? Use red lentils, which get mushier during cooking, and cook down until every so lightly paste-like - but still "sloppy!"  Or, use tempeh - better texture for this I think.  OR, use the food processor and pulse a few times. That could have helped.

As for my coleslaw relish? YUMMMMMMM!  I would recommend it on ANY burger or sandwich. It had everything you could ask for in a condiment / accompaniment.  It's crispy, tangy, salty, raw, and refreshing.  I created it tonight because I wanted to use up these little guys.

See - here is what I want anyone who reads this to come away with.  I had no cabbage tonight to make my coleslaw.  BUT, once you learn that you aren't craving simply "coleslaw," or "relish," but that you're craving "crispy-crunchy-cold-mayo-celery salt-salty-tangy-refreshing-familiarity-nice contrast to something hot" then you are a liberated and empowered cook! That's when you can create gold out of an old potato.

Okay, maybe I haven't gotten that far yet.

Radish Relish:
1/2 large daikon root, finely diced
5 red radishes, finely diced
2 green onions, chopped
1 cup spinach, chifonnaded
1/4 cup cilantro, chifonnaded
10 dill pickle slices, diced
1 tsp celery salt
1 tbsp vegenaise
1-2 tsp ume vinegar
3 tbsp pistachios
fresh ground black pepper